Do You Remember Why You Started?

Do you remember why you started your journey? Do you remember why you decided that it was time to make a change in your life and lose weight?

I started after missing my period for two whole months. Not being pregnant, I decided that I should go to the doctor to see what was going on. After some blood work and a couple of different kinds of scans, the doctor told me that the reason was due to my weight. My estrogen levels were through the roof and that I needed to make a change. At this point, if my then boyfriend and I ever wanted to have children, there was a good chance that I would not be able to get pregnant.

Being 239lbs and gaining 65lbs in a year, year and a half, I took a hard look at my life. BUT not right away. 3 months later, doing a photo shoot I saw an image of myself. Cellulite thighs, stomach hanging over my shorts, a face I didn’t recognize. I was covered in pimples, and truly unhappy with my self-image.

I tried multiple things to boost my confidence. Dying my hair dark to create a change didn’t do anything. Buying new clothes didn’t do anything, the shirts just got more and more flowy. I started hating shopping, (something I LOVE doing) nothing fit, wearing leggings all the time so that I didn’t have to focus on the number on the pants. Well that and jeans dug in to my stomach and were super uncomfortable.

Then the thought of babies came into my mind. If I didn’t make a change, I wouldn’t be able to do that. I wouldn’t be able to provide my then boyfriend, now husband with kids. Something I want so badly in my future.

What was so important that it was worth giving that possible future up? Eating whatever I wanted, drinking and going out all the time? Sitting on the couch and never wanting to be active? Shortening my life so that I could have minutes of pleasure?

My perspective definitely shifted. After months of trying, giving up, trying, giving up, I realized that this needed to be a life change and not just a diet. I wouldn’t be one of those people that lost weight, went back to their regular life and stayed at their new slim size. In fact, I am not sure that those people exist. You have to make a change to be healthy and to lose weight. You have to make a conscious decision every day on if the calories are worth it or not. You have to stay active and you have to pass it along to others.

It’s hard, I know. Losing 65lbs was/is work. I had to push myself, say no to temptation, I had to listen to my body and not my stomach. I had to give up always going to happy hour, I had to save restaurants for REAL special occasions. I had to be more organized about the food in my house, created lunches for the week every Sunday, and logged everything that I put in my mouth. It’s hard, it’s annoying, and I feel like I am missing out on a lot by spending that much time in the gym and turning down those happy hours.

But in the end, it really is all worth it.

Going from a size 18/20 to a size 8, feeling more confident about my body every day, challenging myself at the gym and conquering it daily feels great. Knowing that clean eating, and being active gives me energy, and I want to do more, I am more motivated, and I am focused.

I need to remember all of those things when I want to give up or when I want to say, oh I can restart tomorrow. I need to remember that it’s not always worth the calories. My husband, my future family, my future self, they are all worth it!

Good luck on your journey and don’t forget why you started and compare how you felt then to how you feel now.



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