How to find the right trainer…

Recently I lost my trainer. At the time it felt like the end of the world. I was losing my support, the person who changed my nutrition and helped me get to where I am right now. After a couple days of sulking, I realized that change is good. Change can shock your body, can make you push harder and can help you get to your goal.

Last night I met my new trainer. NOT GOOD. After 15 minutes of him telling me that by the look of me, I clearly was doing everything wrong, my nutrition is completely off and I must eat white carbs, and asking me if I have fake boobs. I felt defeated. This guy who has no idea where I started, who never asked about what I was doing working out wise and didn’t ask what I was eating was judging me. He was judging me because I am not a stick figure. He was judging me because I don’t have a perfect stomach, and he was judging me because he thought that the reason I was being paired up with him was because I was out of shape. I don’t even know if he really looked at me, well maybe just my boobs. He didn’t listen, make me feel good or make me feel like he cared about my goals. Well he never even asked what those goals were. He just stood there judging me and showing me his biceps. Making me feel bad that I wasn’t a stick figure with a perfect stomach. And clearly by the look of me I eat white carbs.

It’s been a really long time that someone has made me feel that badly about my appearance. Made me feel like I have done nothing right and I should be killed for it. In 15 minutes this guy made me question my progress, lose confidence in my body and make me feel like that 239lb girl again. It was the most horrible feeling.

I know that you shouldn’t let people like that get you down and I should be confident in the work that I have done, but someone treating you like that never feels good. This morning on the stairmaster I was crushed. It was hard to push myself on the stairs and be motivated to keep pushing… why should I? Clearly everything I am doing isn’t making a difference and I look fat. After a good 20 minutes of oh woe is me…I snapped out of it. Fuck him. Fuck that guy who thinks that he is the know all of the fitness world. Fuck that guy who has so much low self-esteem that he needs to put other people down to make himself feel better. He is nothing but a bully and I shouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

All of this negativity got me thinking: What do you need to find in a trainer? I came up with these answers:


  • A trainer should be compassionate to your situation and your goals.


  • A trainer should listen to you and understand what you need from them.

Positive Reinforcement:

  • A trainer should continue to give positive reinforcement for the work that you are doing or that you have done. Constantly being negative doesn’t help your progress, it just holds you back.

Ability to Change:

  • Not everything works for every person. A trainer should be ready and willing to change how they are training you if something isn’t working. Listen to what you have done and make tweaks to increase performance. There is no one way to get in shape.


  • You would think this is a no brainer. But being knowledgeable about the body and how it works is key. Knowing about how nutrition affects the body is important too. If you get a new trainer, you have to understand they are still learning and won’t be as knowledgeable as someone who has been doing it for a while. Depending on what stage you are at in your fitness, that will gauge if someone new is a good fit for you or not.

Team Player:

  • You and your trainer are a team. You both have the same goal so you should work as a team. Communication with your trainer is important on how you are feeling, your struggles through the week, and how your progressing. Your trainer can’t make the appropriate changes without knowing how you are doing when you are not with them.


  • Finally… the hardest one. They need to care. Finding a trainer that truly cares about your progress and is doing this job to make a difference in lives is the kind of trainer you want. You don’t want one who is just in it for easy money, or who wants to watch girls squat. You want someone who is going to invest in your health.

It sounds really hard to find trainers will all of these attributes, but it’s not as hard as you think. Like me, you may have to go through a few to find the right one… and when you do find the right one, they decide to move away so you have to start all over again. But that is the way weight loss is, you have to keep trying things to make progress, continue to make changes so that you can get to where you want to be. It’s a commitment but a worthwhile commitment!

Here’s hoping the next trainer is a good one!


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