I have a confession to make to all of you….
I gave up. I have gained 20lbs.
Not that this is a an excuse but after my wedding I got injured and couldn’t work out for 2 months, I went off the pill as my husband and I are just seeing what happens, I had a miscarriage in December, though I didn’t know that I was pregnant, the holidays happened, my aunt died which warranted a trip to Iowa, my birthday was in the beginning of Jan and I had a trip to NYC. Through this time I ate OK, not 100% clean, I didn’t do portion control and I ate my feelings. Now I am 195lbs and feeling REALLY bad about myself.
I am feeling really bad because I can’t fit into my skinny clothes, I look like I just lost the weight for the wedding… which isn’t true, I went back on what I said that this is my new lifestyle and that I wasn’t going back, and lastly, I feel really bad because I feel like I have let all of you down. I worked really hard to show you that if I can do it, so can you and now, I have gained 20lbs.
I just don’t feel good about myself.
So what am I going to do?
I am going to stop whining and being sad about it and do something. I am going to start again by forgiving myself for the mistakes that I have made in the past 4 months. I am going to start with the weekly progress photos again and show you that even though I had a little bit of a hiccup, that I can get back to that weight.
Lastly, I am going to stop thinking that the reason that I had a miscarriage was because I did 6 miles on the stairmaster.
Now that my husband and I are trying to get pregnant, I realize that I might not make my goal of getting back to my wedding weight and then some. But my goal now is to try to lose 2lbs a week, work out at least 4 times a week, more if I can, and just get back to feeling good about my body.
I am going to go back to not really eating sugar except from my morning fruit, not going to be eating carbs other than vegetables or whole grains, I am going to strive to eat clean and rid my body of toxins. I am going to try and lose 2lbs a week. I am going to try to be strong again.
That is my new goal.